How to Manage the Toxic People in Your Life

We all have those people in our lives that just seem to suck the energy right out of you. The people that no matter what the situation will always gravitate to complaining. This is one of the biggest stumbling blocks you will come across when trying to better your emotional health. I was one of those people once. Honestly its a lot easier to simply complain about life then it is to force yourself to see the good in everything.

Now that I am in the processes of changing my mind frame I find that there are certain people, I use to want to be around, that now I try to avoid at all costs. Its actually extremely frustrating to be around someone who is constantly complaining when you are trying to become a more positive person. Shout out to all of you that I might have done this to, I am sorry and now I know your pain! Now I actively avoid people that are always unhappy with life.

Unfortunately, there are some toxic people that you just cant avoid no matter what you do. Whether this is a co-worker or someone you live with it can get really tiring to be around these people. A strategy that I have started to develop with these people is to find something positive in my head for everything negative they say. If I am feeling frisky that day I might even say a positive thing out load every time they complain. This usually gets them right out of your way.

See, the thing about negative people is that it can become addicting to always be that way. I use to rationalize being negative by believing that it makes sure I am never really disappointed with a certain outcome. I am always prepared for the worse so when something goes right I can be surprised. In reality I was using my negative thought patterns as a crutch to get through life avoiding as much emotional pain as possible. But that is not truly living. You need to approach things with an open mind and an open heart. When things do not go your way you can still believe that the next day might present itself with a better opportunity. Being positive is not about being happy all the time. Its about knowing that there are always better days even when you are in the midst of a bad day.

In all honesty, I can thank my two siblings for their help in getting me prepared for a better life. A few months ago I was that toxic person. Always finding something to be unhappy about even though my life is really pretty amazing. My big brother really helped me see the light. He is in the process of his own personal development, and has always been a happy person. But lately he has been so focused on his emotional development that its hard not to be affected by his positively when you are in his presence. He led me toward two of the best books I have ever read. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. These are amazing and should be read by anyone who is trying to better themselves.My little sister showed me the benefits of creating a calm environment for her baby before she gave birth. Now that baby is the happiest little thing in the world. All she did was calmed her mental storm, listen to relaxing music, and did Yoga during her pregnancy. With both of these people getting better before my eyes it allowed me to see the error in how I approach life. Now I am working every day to create a happier life for myself.

Avoiding toxic people is one of the first steps you have to take. Even if that person is your best friend you still need to remember that your mental health is more important than the feelings of someone who is dragging you down. You do not have to be rude about it. You can go about it anyway you want. But I feel that if you present a positive thought to each of their negative ones, they are either going to get on board with what you are doing or they are going to find another like minded person. Either way you win and your mental health is protected. Remember that this also includes your social media friends! So go out there today and respond with positivity to every negative thing that happens! Have a wonderful day and don’t forget to smile!

Disclaimer: I get a small percentage off of the books if you buy them using the link within this blog.

Its Sid and Nancy time!!!

Whenever I need to feel better during the day I will look at pictures of my cute puppies! Just a few cute little moments of puppy antics and you can not help but feel better. πŸ™‚ Here is a few to keep you going today!

Sidney in various emotional stages with his cone

Here is a few more for the road! Have a wonderful day!

What I learned at the Father Peyton Dance

This weekend my Husband’s family put on their annual Father Peyton dance which was held at that the Ancient Order of Hibernians Albany chapter house. Its a wonderful atmosphere to be in. So many great people to be around. Between the Irish step dancing and the bag pipe introduction you really feel connected to their history as a culture. This wonderful get together happens ever year to honor Father Peyton and his Rosary Ministry. The Leonard family has a lot to thank him for!

Here is what I was told about Father Peyton, and the miracle that brought so much happiness and joy to the Leonard family. My father-in-law is the second youngest of eight children. However he would not be here today if it wasn’t for the miracle that his father was given. A little after having his fourth child he is at work and falls off a building down six stories onto his back. The doctors did not believe he was going to live let alone walk again. Father Peyton came into the hospital room and prayed over him for a long time. Soon enough he was back on his feet, he went back to work, and lived to have four more children.

This is such a wonderful real life miracle. I think it teaches people that as long as you believe, then there is really nothing strong enough to stop you. If the family and Father Peyton listened to the doctors he would not have been able to live the full life he had. They created a positive enough environment while praying that the universe reacted. You can believe whatever you want to believe. But when there is a real life story about the power to overcome, with the belief that you will get better, its hard not to trust that the universe will always provide. So the next time someone tells you that you can’ t. Shut that belief off with the knowledge that if you trust in yourself, and you do not let anything stop you from what you plan to achieve you will get to live a full and happy life.

Please check out the link below to learn more about Father Peyton.

Kindness is not weakness

There are people in this world that believe showing kindness is showing weakness. That a person who is willing to compromise in a situation is actually the weaker individual. This is not the case. Showing kindness is infinitely more difficult than being rude or uncompromising. If you have ever been in a situation where you have had to bite your tongue to hold back from saying something you cannot take back, you have a good understanding how much harder it is to be nice.

If anyone has ever spent time in the customer service business you can attest to this. It takes a lot more mental fortitude to be kind to someone who is treating you with incivility. I can remember wanting to scream at tables with customers that treated me like I was lower than dirt. Sometimes I would cry on my way back home because I had one too many mean customers that day. Everything in you wants call out the people who treat you horribly but its your job to be nice so if you want to keep your job you reach down, pull up your big girl panties, and treat them like they are the nicest people you know.

There are a lot of other instances where you should be the bigger person, and react with kindness instead of more of the same. Someone bumps into you while your walking, you get caught driving behind a slower driver, or your boss drops a ton of extra work on your desk with an unrealistic due date. No matter what is happening, the person that is able to calm themselves and focus on what really matters is more emotionally centered. If you are reacting to every situation you do not like with anger and fear your life is going to just get harder. So it might be easier for you to freak out anytime something goes wrong but where does that get you? Remember that a simple smile can make you feel better, and you might be surprised at the results of smiling at someone who treated you unkindly. So go out there today and challenge yourself to react with kindness to any situation. Be the bigger person! Who knows how much your life might improve!!

Its Time to Laugh!

Good Morning everyone!! For my blog post today I just want to give you all a few things to make you laugh, and start your day off with some positive vibes!

Who doesn’t like a good dog meme?!

I took these pictures a few days after we got our second puppy, Nancy (black dog). My husband was so excited to have the two puppies on his lap for the first time!! The second photo was taken one second later after 2 month old Nancy tasted his finger. LMAO we both had a good laugh on that one! Enjoy your day and don’t forget to laugh!

Always embrace your birthday with open arms.

As we get older our birthdays tend to get less and less exciting. When your growing up there is so much to look forward to! Getting to drive at 16, becoming a legal adult at 18, being able to drink at 21, and your car insurance ‘might’ drop at 25. You get excited when these big milestones come up but afterwards the excitement tends to lessen. You have other things to worry about and life does not stop to celebrate another year under the belt.

This is me and my husband on our honeymoon at the Kilkenny Castle on my Birthday!

Thats the wrong attitude in my opinion. You were born on that day! You came into the world and have affected so many people in your life. Each year is another opportunity to better yourself. To improve some aspect of your life! Each year you add on new knowledge, growth, and you touch the lives of people around you (hopefully for the better). Each breath you take all started on that one day. You can change the world and it wouldnt be possible if you were not brought kicking and screaming into this world!

So if your like me today and are celebrating your life please remember. Its not you coming one more year closer to dieing. Its a celebration of your contribution to the world around you! Be thankful and spread as much joy as possible into the world today! You never know who might need it!! Hears to getting one year better!!! πŸΎπŸŽ‰πŸ˜Žβ€

Sleep and get happy

Everyone loves to sleep! Though most of the time we all could use a little more in our lives. We are always so busy during the day that when it is finally time to relax we tend to stay up longer to prolong the feeling.

Sleep is important and getting the recommending 7 to 9 hrs can be challenging. But when you really take a step back, and see how being tired affects your life, its easy to focus on changing. Take simple steps and work towards an achieveable sleep goal that fits your lifestyle. Do things like have set times you go to bed and wake up, keep the T.V. out of the room, and block out the light as much as possible.

If you are struggling to maintain a healthy lifestyle give yourself a helping hand by providing it with the rest to deserves. Once your have corrected this aspect of your life you can approach the day with renewed vigor. Sleep well and enjoy your day!

Image result for funny sleep memes

Laugh at least once a day.

They always say that laughter is the best medicine. The simple act of laughing releases all those feel good hormones that smiling does. Thanks to these wonderful hormones and the subsequent decreasing of our stress hormones, laughter can actually boost your immune system. When you laugh your body releases antibodies that fight infections which also increases your immune cells. This improves your bodies overall health. Laughing also raises your blood pressure and increases your blood flow which can potentially protect your heart. The amount of good simply laughing can do to your body is amazing.

Laughter not only improves your overall heath but it also can improve your relationships. When we see people laugh our brains react to it much the same way as when we see people smile. Its hard to stay unhappy around someone who is always laughing. When you are seen laughing and smiling you are more approachable. Everyone tend to gravitate towards these people, and their relationships are stronger. So if you are looking for new friends or just want to deepen the relationships you already have start laughing and enjoying life!

Not only can laughter make your body and relationships better but it might actually increase your life expectancy. There was a study done in Norway that suggested people with a good sense of humor typically live longer than those without. Can I give you anymore good reasons you start giggling?? So if you can do yourself one favor every day it would be to laugh. So go out today, enjoy life, and laugh your butt off!!

Find What Motivates You to Stay Happy

Everyone wants to be happy but not everyone is willing to put in the work. You have to find your motivation behind it. Are you trying to change for your kids? your significant other? or is it just for yourself? You need to have a solid reason to motivate yourself to be happy. This will give you that push to stay positive when things are not going well. I started on this journey mainly because I know I am going to have children some day, and I want to be emotionally healthy before I commit such an emotionally demanding job.

I use this motivation as a life line sometimes. It doesn’t work to pull me out of a funk 100% of the time but I am still growing emotionally. I think one of the best things you can do is create an emotional anchor that you use whenever something happens to put you in a negative state of mind. When I say anchor I mean something that is a sure fire way to make you smile. I always think of my dog face whenever he is really excited. That super crazy happy grin where he is panting so hard his tongue hangs out of his mouth and his eyes are shining with excitement! Its makes me smile every time, and nothing can stop my heart from warming at the thought of that cute little face. Ill put this in my minds eye whenever I feel frustration building, and It really does help.

So take some time today to think about something that will always get you to smile no matter how annoyed you can be at the time. Then focus on that and let yourself feel the happiness πŸ™‚ Anytime you run into something frustrating today pause for a second, and think about your emotional anchor. I bet it will make you feel better immediately! Have a wonderful day and stay happy!

Lets All Take a Deep Breath

Breathing is such a simple thing. A basic need for oxygen, and yet it can calm you down when your stressed. You always hear people telling you to take ten deep breaths when your upset. This practice allows you to calm down by getting more oxygen to your brain, and at the same type stimulating your parasympathetic nerve system. Basically, by stimulating your parasympathetic nerve system you are promoting a state of relaxation.

Your sympathetic nerve system is responsible for your ‘fight or flight’ instincts. When this is stimulated your getting a rush of hormones that are made to defend yourself from a difficult situation. Your parasympathetic nerve system is your ‘rest and digest’ instincts. By stimulating this, your telling your brain that nothing is wrong, and its time to relax. If anyone has ever taken a Yoga class, you have felt how the process of breathing can be relaxing.

Yoga and meditation surround their practices by paying attention to your breath. Surround yourself with calm and relax into the situation your in. Whether its trying not to fall out of downward dog or trying not to pay attention to every little annoying noise in the room, if you focus on breathing its easier. Go take a Yoga class to really see the affects of breathing! If you think Yoga is simply stretching, and not going to get your blood pumping go get Yoga for Warriors by Bob Harper. I grabbed this video up when I was just starting out with Yoga in an attempt to make sure it was going to burn some serious calories. This yoga workout will make you sweat!

It has honestly taken me a long time to be able to calm myself down just by taking a few deep breaths. Before I got on my path to a better me, taking a couple breaths to calm down more resembled a cartoon bull breathing right before they ram their head into something! It takes practice to breath out the frustration but its one of the most effective tools you have when it comes to an immediate need for calmness. I simply focus on breathing out the frustration, and bringing in the calm with every breath. Sometimes it might take one or two breaths and others, like my dog chewing the zipper out of my favorite jacket, might take closer to twenty breaths. But no matter how long, give yourself the time to bring that calm back into your life before you react to a situation. So lets all take a deep breath and have a wonderful day!!