Everyone wants to be liked
But if your a ‘people pleaser’ it can be very hard to deal with people that do not like you.
My husband is really good with this. If someone doesn’t like him he is completely fine with that. He just puts that person out of his head and allows them to soak in their hatred.
Me, on the other hand? I have been a ‘people pleaser’ forever. I will stress when I can tell someone really does not like me. I won’t go out of my way to change their opinion because I have learned that once someone has made up their mind to not like you there is next to nothing you can do to change that. But I will stress about it and it makes me uncomfortable to be around these people.
Its time to change. Over the last few months I have tried a couple different strategies to correct this. Simply smiling and directing my thoughts to something happier was not all that effective. Thanks to my wonderfully active overthinking, people’s attitude towards me would pop right back into my head a few minutes later. So ignoring the issue was not working.
The thing that helped the best is remembering that another person’s reaction to you is coming from their own experiences. Basically, the person who snapped at me generally has more problems than I do. Everyone has a different background and if you are maintaining your individuality then there are people you will come across who will not like you. Embrace yourself. There is no one else in the world exactly like you. So instead of trying to conform to how people think you should be enjoy your individuality.
Now, when there is someone (or people) that treat me with incivility I simply recite this quote…
Then I laugh it off. From that point on, any time my obsessive brain brings it up I force myself to smile. Its to good of a day to allow their attitude to disrupt my peace. I believe this works better because I am laughing it off. Instead of simply trying to force my brain back into a happy place I am able to reach that place because I am laughing and giving myself a pat on the back at the same time. Standing up for myself is me simply not allowing people to push my boundaries.
People can be very vindictive and you are not going to be able to please everyone you come across. If they have a problem with you that is not your fault. That’s theirs. Your not going to be able to change that. Live with it and forget about who ever it is. They are not worth your time. You have much bigger things to worry about than a few people out of the billions of people out there that does not like you.
Be yourself and happiness will be yours. Trying to adapt to people’s view of how you should be is the worst thing you can focus your energy on. Everyone is different with their own strengths and weaknesses. You are part of this world to bring it your version of joy! Focus on yourself and you will live a happy life!
If you would like help in this area feel free to contact me!